In foreclosure, negative emotions can shackle and discourage you from taking action to fight the situation at hand. While government relief–as we’ve all seen all over the news these past few days and months–may make up part of the “help mix” coming your way, there may be other avenues for you to take.

In the meantime, I want you to understand how negative emotions can sink your ship. When you see these problems possibly coming your way, you can perhaps do something about them.

1. Yelling your way to the poorhouse: Unless you stop playing the blame game, the crisis can continue to escalate, until nothing gets done and everyone loses. You can end up losing your home and all the equity in it, not to mention your relationships with the people who matter most to you — your family and friends.
2. Who’s really to blame? If you find yourself blaming a family member, you need to realize that what’s past is past and that you’re both responsible for correcting the situation moving forward. The only thoughts you should have about the past are that you won’t repeat it.
3. Becoming paralyzed with fear: A defeatist attitude can be your worst enemy. It can cause you to lose everything unnecessarily. By keeping your emotions and fears in check, and taking a more proactive approach, you may be able to significantly improve the outcome.
4. Shaming yourself out of asking for help: “Loser, you’ve always been a loser, and soon it’s going to be official. In a matter of days or weeks everyone in your neighborhood and your family is going to know that you failed to pay your bills and shelter your family.” If that’s what you’re thinking, stop right there. Plenty of people who’ve been far more successful than you have suffered greater failures. The only real losers are those who let others and their negative emotions control the outcome. As long as you do your best to achieve the optimal outcome, you can hold your head high.

Remember: It’s important to involve family members in positive and productive ways. Never make and implement a plan without informing your significant other, and never assign all the responsibility to one partner. The more you and your mate sacrifice and work together, the more successful the plan will be.

My recent book, Foreclosure Self-Defense For Dummies, will take you all the way through the above topics, and more, and help you regain emotional and financial composure.

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